Mother.

Do you cry 5 days a year?  Every birthday a reminder of what you gave up?

Does your heartache when you catch a glimpse of us passing you by; oblivious to your existence?

Do we appear in your dreams, both day and night?  

Can you remember our faces, our voices, the feel of our heartbeats, our kicks in your body 9 months at a time?

Do you wonder about our lives, who we love, who we have allowed to hurt us, and who we wounded in our paths?  

Or do you play make-believe and ignore the cruel reality, only ever remembering on commercial holidays as your friends receive cards of gratitude the silence deafening to you?

For me its the latter; the ghost of you creeps up on me once a year as I avoid the gift aisles and hide from the social media posts, yet every now and then your presence takes me by surprise and my heart breaks – not for you but for everything I should have had, not lost but never gained.

Forever comforting my inner child.  

Desperate to make her understand that she was never too little.

Never too much.

That she deserved unconditional love. 

To be cherished.

To be cared for.

That she was, and always will be, enough.

Do you miss her?

Do you miss us?

Do you cry for the 5 lives you chose to miss out on?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: